Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Perfect Fit

Okay. I'm going to get right to the point here on the whole age thing. I don't really care whether and older man chooses a younger woman over an older woman...or, for that matter, whether an older woman really digs a younger guy. To me, it's all about the fit. Now, don't get me wrong, some behaviors, like hurting someone are never cool. I'm not talking about the classic case of the guy who leaves his longtime wife and his children for a young bimbette. EWWWW. That's just mean. I'm speaking of people who make a choice that is the right fit for THEM.

Popular stereotypes aren't always correct. There are lots of younger women who display a wisdom and class beyond their years. Why wouldn't they enjoy the love and affection of an older man? The same deal applies to the guys. What woman of maturity wouldn't appreciate a younger man who is not only great on the eyes but possesses an appealing charm and sensitivity? Nope. She wouldn't kick him out of bed for cracker munching and might be liable to chain him to the headboard. (ummm...that's a joke).

The important thing, in my view, is that the FIT works. Compatibility, compassion, and humor are stronger than the whole AGE THING. If it's important to find a single mate, make sure it's someone with whom you could see yourself with thirty years down the road.

And if wrinkles and sags are the problem? Hey, there's always BOTOX!!!

12 comments:

  1. Fit is important. I have it with Scott. BUT, why are so many needy guys looking for a FIT with the bimbette before they look to women of maturity their own ages? The bimbette will age. What then? And what does it say about the maturity of the man seeking such a woman?

    I got sidetracked yesterday on the alpha beta thing which is really easy for me to do, but it does piss me off that while I'm not looking for a man, men go for the young thing before a woman of substance. And before you go telling me that young women can be women of substance, remember that they have not yet lived life and are bearly beyond the latest clothing trends and how "cool" it is to drink and party.

    I think men are afraid of strong women. I think they second guess themselves and realize we are a challenge they may not win and therefore they don't bother to try.

    Someone argue with me. I want a debate going.

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  2. Well, I know someone who went the "other" way... he married a woman fifteen years older than him because she was willing to say "whatever you want to do, dear" He needed a woman who was willing to let, nay needed him to be in charge. Her generation of women were used to men being the "head" of the household.

    It must of been the fit for them because they're still together after 25 years...

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  3. I think Rita's got a point here. Truly compatible souls can appear in disparate age ranges. That's a totally different thing than the guy who just wants a shiny trophy on his arm.

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  4. There is something else in the May-December game. Money and sex. A lot of money and wild sex. My young cousin, thirty-five, a doctor with a brilliant career making more money that it's possible to imagine. The pretty nurse grabbed him. She'd been married twice, had three kids, one in college and two in high schools, and was married when she slept with him. He covered her with gifts, 5-carats diamond, BMW, a condo. She gave him wild sex. His mother yelled, begged, cried. To no avail. He married her secretely the day after she got her divorce. He paid for her daughter's law school, car, apartment. He's the bank, but he's not really happy. She can't give him children. He can't leave. He's addicted to her and pay a lot for his addiction.

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  5. Rita/Regina, I can't agree with you more. Fit is the MOST important thing. It gets you past all the xcrises, all the stumbling blocks, all the speed bumps in life's roadway. Because you know, you juist know, no matter who is oldwer and who is younger, that the person you're with is there for you one hundred percent. Always has your back. Loves you when you're sick with the flu or dressed to the nines. Can finish your sentences for you-if you let them of course! I didn't have that with dh #1 but I more than have it with dh #2. And age is so immaterial if everuythng else works.

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  6. "I think men are afraid of strong women. I think they second guess themselves and realize we are a challenge they may not win and therefore they don't bother to try.
    Someone argue with me. I want a debate going."

    I think there are probably 6 men on the planet that can handle a strong woman. But are those 6 men are so conditioned by their spouse that it just 'looks' like they are coping when they're really just well trained by said spouse? Look at Hillary - she has Bill trained. But for the Monica thing, she has slapped that man into shape.

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  7. Hmmmm. I don't know about the HillBill thing. He's shooting his mouth off all over the place these days and hurting her badly...at least politically. Maybe she smacks him when they finally manage to get back together again.

    Oh...and Kelly, I didn't necessarily mean the young women were in their 20's. To me, younger women are also in their 30's. And who do you consider OLDER men? Guys in their 40's???? Nope. Older men can be in their 50's.You see...it's all irrelevant.

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  8. I only raise an eyebrow when there is a major age difference, such as, he's 82 and she's 25, or she's 72 and he's 30. Money is usually playing a role in these scenarios. Yes, everyone is beautiful in the dark, but did Larry King's wife really marry him for love? I mean, look at the man. I've seen him in person on more than one occasion and he is not attractive.

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  9. I do think there is a point at which the icky factor kicks in, but I have no problem with age gaps. My SO is 12 years younger than me. It meant we got to the having babies part a little later than I would have chosen, but we knew we both had to be at a place in our lives where that was the right choice. A friend of mine has a formula for figuring the icky factor. If the age difference is more than half the older person's age, it kicks into the icky factor.

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  10. Oooh yeah. Forgot about the ick factor. Kind of like Anna Nicole and the 90-something multi bazillionaire. But that's not really a couple, is it? More like a sideshow!!!

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  11. I used to ONLY like older men. Not necessarily that much older, but at least a little older. When I met my hubby, I just assumed he'd be older, if only a couple months. He's 5 months younger. He says we're the same age and I guess he's right. What's 5 months? But it used to bother me. Now, I think younger men are sexy, too. I'm seeing fewer and fewer men older than me that look good. But if I was single ever again, I'd choose a man based on personality and not worry about age one way or the other. I have several friends who have husband's 7 years younger than them and they're very happy. Like you said, whatever fits for the couple involved.

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  12. I know Rita, just my take on that aspect. I figure if she's 30 she ought to know better. If she's 20s she's probably still a kid, mentally. Those combos freak me out above age gap combos.

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