Thursday, February 5, 2009

Dominant meets Submissive

by Kim Dare.

I’d like to start by introducing you to two men.

First there is Luke. Blond hair and blue eyes. He’s twenty one and gorgeous - and he knows it.

Then there is Dexter. Tall, dark and intensely dominant. He’s an established master on the local BDSM scene.

Luke happens to think he’ll make a damn good submissive and that Dexter is just the man to be his new master.

Dexter, on the other hand, knows full well that Luke is nothing more than a spoilt little brat who’s been annoying the hell out of him for the last three weeks - nagging for them to do a scene together in a very unsubmissive way.

Still, Luke is very cute, and Dexter can’t help wonder if there just might be the makings of a reasonable submissive lurking deep down inside the younger man.

An initiation is about to take place.

Luke is about to find out what it means to submit to Dexter. He’s going to find out what it’s like to surrender all control of himself and his immediate future to a man he barely knows. He’s going to agree to obey the other man’s rules and accept his punishments. He’s going to be strung up from the cuffs bolted to the ceiling. He’s going to kneel at Dexter's feet, call him sir and take his first steps into the unknown.

But don’t forget about Dexter – he’s not just an idle spectator in all this. He’s going through his own little initiation too. It might not be the first scene he’s done and Luke might be far from his first lover, but he’s about to find out what it means to dominant over this man rather than over anyone else.

You see, Dexter is a good dominant and every good dominant knows that there’s no such thing as a one size fits all scene. So, he’s learning about where Luke’s particular limits are. He’s discovering the other man’s strengths and weaknesses and how to manipulate both of those things to their mutual enjoyment. He’s finding out what makes Luke squirm and what makes him gasp with pleasure and beg to come.

Initiations are often about proving yourself, and this one is no different. Luke needs to prove that he can submit - and that he can enjoy doing that. He has to prove to Dexter that he's fully capable of setting aside when he wants and thinking only of his master's pleasure - even if it proves to be frustrating or uncomfortable at times. Earlier on this week, some pointed out that initiations are often painful. Luke may well need to prove that he can accept that too. Lucky for him he’s a masochist as well as a submissive - he's going to enjoy that bit of the process ;)

Likewise, Dexter has a lot to prove. He has to demonstrate that he knows what he's doing, that he knows how the difference between a dominant and a complete pillock who's just using another person because they can. He has to show that he knows when it's important to set aside what he wants for what Luke needs.

The line between the initiate and the initiator isn't always as clear as it seems.

But, between them both, they are using this initial initiation scene as a way of working out how to turn the large scale tribal rules and ideas of BDSM into something that’s specific to and perfect for them.

And, because they happen to live in one of my books, they are also taking their first steps towards living happily ever after together.

I suppose that brings me to the third person who I should be introducing you to today.


I’m pretty much just the person who’s head these characters live inside.

Luke and Dexter turned up entirely uninvited and unexpected when I first heard the topic for this week’s blog post. Depending on how long they decide they want to stick around inside my imagination, my might yet make it into one of my full length stories.

So, what can Luke and Dexter expect if that happens? What do I write?

First and foremost, I write BDSM. The full spectrum from a little bit of tie up and tease, featuring characters who wonder if it might be fun to introduce a pair of handcuffs into their bedroom, and all the way through to other character who live the complete lifestyle 24/7.

I write Male/male and Male/female pairings, with a few threesomes thrown in here and there when the mood strikes. Most of the stories have a straight forward contemporary set up, with a bit of paranormal thrown in when the vampires and the werewolves turn up and want to join in the fun. And the stories are all erotic romances with a happy ending. Never have liked to read anything with an unhappy ending, so I'm not going to start writing them.

There's not a lot else to say really.

I'm 25 years old, from Wales, UK, and a relatively new author publishing with Total-e-bound.

My first novella was accepted last summer. The first one to be released - The Gift - came out last Christmas. I've got another 10 scheduled to come out this year. Starting with Secret Service next Monday.

I have a website and a blog and a something like a real-world life, but, yeah, I'm pretty much just the person whose head various kinky characters live inside.

Remember there's a $30 amazon gift voucher up for grabs if you leave a comment :)

Great to meet you all.

Kim Dare.
Kink, love and a happy ending. Do you Dare?


  1. Luke and Dexter sound like they might make a fun story. Be sure to let us know if you finish that story.

  2. Hey Kim,

    Luke and Dexter do sound like fun. Let us know when we can read all about them!

    Great post. Congratulations on the 11 sales to TEB this year!


  3. Hello Kim,
    It's nice to meet you. :)
    Luke and Dexter sound HOT and I can't wait to read more about them.


  4. Um, and if Dexter needs ANY help with that Luke guy, just let me know. I'd be more than happy to send someone along.

    Great post, Kim, and very nice to meet you. I love the D/s initiation you used here. Nicely done. Can't wait to find our more about you and those two sexy guys.


  5. Great introduction, Kim. Not only do Luke and Dexter sound yummy, I can't wait to read Alistair and Sheridan's story. Looking forward to more of your books.


  6. Kim, I knew we were meant to meet, lol, followed you from twitter. I love the way you write. Will definitely follow!

  7. Enjoyed the visit. I am always lookng for authors to read that I have yet to read. Have added your book to my TBR list
    JWIsley AT

  8. Kim;

    I've always been curious about how this thing works. Because of the genre we write in, BDSM is very popular - but for you personally, how does it work? What is the desire to submit to another and where does it come from? Are you thisway yourself? I see this as being something which has a lot in common with religion and religious surrender. I can see surrendering to a divine being, what makes a person submit to another person?


  9. Are you publishing all of your books with the same company or different companies?

  10. As usual, great article and very enjoyable to read, Kim! B-)

    Dexter and Luke sound like a lot of fun, so I hope they stick around. O:)


  11. Luke and Dexter sound like a hot read!

  12. Excellent post, Kim. I'm amazed that these characters just pop into your mind unasked!

    As for your question, Garceus, well, that would be a week's worth of posts. And I do believe that Kim has scheduled BDSM as a topic in three or four weeks, so hold that thought!


  13. Yep, those characters show up in our head uninvited and never give us peace into we give into thier will. Fun isn't it?

  14. Luke and Dexter can pop in uninvited anytime, anywhere!

  15. Great to meet you.

    I am not a published writer, but I *am* a roleplayer (primarily in an email format), and I do understand how characters can take a life of their own.

  16. Hi everyone, great to meet you all :)

    If Luke and Dexter stick around and turn into a short story, I'll submit it to Total-e-bound as a free read. I'll let you know if and when it happens.

  17. Jude - I'll let you know if Dexter wants any help, but he's a bit possessive, I don't think he'll be happy about sharing his toys :)

    Jamie - thanks for the congrats. It's all going far better than I expected *touches wood*

    Donna - it feels like I've been waiting for years to be able to introduce Alistair and Sheridan to everyone. I can't wait for Monday!

    Rhonda, Angela, great to meet you. I'm glad you like Dexter and Luke. I'll let you know if they make it into a short story.

  18. Joye - great to meet you, thanks for adding me to your list :)

    Handbagcave - lovely to meet you, thanks for the compliment :)

    Merc - glad you enjoyed meeting the guys. I'm slowly getting the hang of this blogging thing, lol.

    Helen - Great to meet you. Everything's with Total-e-bound at the moment. I am looking into subbing to one or two other publishers though - just to spread the stories out a bit.

    Garce - I think BDSM is different for everyone. For me, personally, it's the psychology that makes sense. Vanilla kind of confuses me. I'm sure there'll be more about that as the posts go on. Great to meet you.

  19. Amy - glad you liked the guys. Great to meet you.

    Lisabet - yep, they just kind of turned up. Since they wouldn't go away it seemed like a good idea to share them. Yep. I've picked Writing BDSM as my topic. I'm sure we'll all have lots to say about it then :)

    Moondancer - yep, it's always fun when the characters come alive. Thanks for dropping by :)

    Sue - lol, glad you like the guys. If I had any control over them I'd offer to send them over for a visit :)

    Jvstin - writing and role play are both all about imagination. It's very much the same thing. Great to meet you :)

  20. Oh my!!! Like the rest of your fans, I can't to get my hands on Dexter and to speak. Write faster, woman!!!

  21. Hi everyone. We just got our power on yesterday. We had been without power for 8 days and I have never been so happy to have heat and home cooked meals.

    Can't wait to read all about Luke and Dexter. Please do let us know if it turns into a story.

  22. I think I'd like to read Luke and Dexter's complete story. I look forward to reading your stories. Congratulations on having 10 coming out this year. How exciting that must be for you.

  23. Bronwyn - I'll do my very best to type a little quicker, lol.

    Kimmyl - glad you've got your power back on after all that time. Hope you're warming up at bit now.

    Pat - Thanks :) Sure exciting - still not quite sure how it all happened!

    Great to meet you all.