Saturday, February 14, 2009

Valentine's Day: What's your take?

Please welcome guest author Adrianne Brennan to the Grip!

Every year Valentine's Day passes by and it's never been much of a landmark. Beyond seeing a ton of pink and red cards, boxes of candy in the stores, and diamond commercials insisting upon a colorless rock's significance in a woman's life, I've never really thought much of the holiday.

Valentine's Day has become a commercial sell-out. Some couples mark it as one more excuse to celebrate their love and devotion and I see nothing wrong with that. Hey, the more excuses the merrier, right? ;) But on the whole, I also know of some who flat out refuse to celebrate it and they have their reasons.

I think honoring your partner and celebrating love should be done 24/7/365 not attributed to a Hallmark greeting card or a box of candy. When you get something for your partner "just because" versus buying for a commercialized holiday, I believe that to have greater meaning.

It's funny. As an erotic romance writer, I feel like I'm expected to champion the holiday. There's a greater pressure to write and read romance and those who are not single by choice are made to feel miserable on this day. Thankfully I feel that I know better than this; my idea of what constitutes romance probably wouldn't sell, but I understand that what is "ideal" is different for everyone.

Romance to me is putting up with all of the thorns amidst the roses. It's cleaning up after your partner when they get sick. It's keeping chemistry and passion alive while battling day to day stresses and woes. When romance can thrive hand in hand with reality's messes, that to me is real romance.

So regardless of whether or not you choose to celebrate today, do remember this: hug your loved ones and appreciate them for all that they're worth, flaws in all. They are of more value than all of the diamonds in the world.

Love & Magic,


~ "Where love and magic meet" ~
Experience the magic of Blood of the Dark Moon:
Take a bite out of Blood and Mint Chocolates:
Dare to take The Oath in my latest fantasy series:


  1. Hi Adrianne,

    Thanks for coming to the Grip. I absolutely believe everything you said, but a part of me still wants to get out the construction paper and make little red and pink hearts. *G*

    Have a great day!


  2. Thanks for having me here! :D

    I often refer to myself a a "cynical idealist". But what constitutes as ideal is far from universal. I believe that people should follow their hearts and live for whatever reaches into their chest, grabs a hold of their heart, and sets their soul on fire. Everything else is dust and smoke in comparison.

    I don't like the societal pressure to conform to its ideas on what makes up romance; I'd much rather live up to my own.

    I guess that you could say I march to the beat of my own drummer.


  3. it is such a over hyped day in the year that ends up being a "test" of one's love, unnecessary pressure on any relationship. If you can't show your care and concern for another individual all year long, then why are you in it anyway. sane happy people avoid the trap of this day.

  4. You and I are having similar thoughts today, Adrianne. I blogged this morning about pretty much the same thing. lol

    And another thought just stuck me. Do you ever feel like the advertising industry is trying to tell those of us who don't have a SO that is something wrong with us? lol

    Great blog!

  5. Wonderful blog, Adrianne!

    Yes, showing someone you love them 24/7/365 days a year is more important than one day of it. One day won't sustain a relationship. However, I won't turn down the long stem roses or the chocolate that my husband sends me, nor the opportunity for my MIL to take the daughter overnight. (grin) (Of course, Grandma does that a lot anyway, so I don't need an excuse. :))

    Love is easy. People are the ones who make love hard.


  6. Hi Adrianne:)

    Valentine's Day for me has always been historically BAD...I either broke up with my sweeties before the date, on the date, or didn't have one. And am now married to the most un-romantic guy on the planet, lol:)

    But I decided long ago not to depend on getting anything special, so I make it special for kids, my friends, and I buy my own chocolate.

    And once in a while the man surprises me...this past week I told him tulips were available, and he told me to pick out the ones I wanted:)

    But I'm still making a special meal for everyone $$ doesn't arrive until next Friday! And he's promised me a trip to the Olive Garden:)

  7. I am with you! There's nothing wrong with celebrating love, none at all. But do it every day, not just one dang day. I know couples that can't stand each other, no reason they should be together, and on Valentine's Day they act for everyone else sake that they are the happiest couple in the world and they have no issues in their relationship. Ok maybe it's a break from all the fighting LOL! everyone needs a vacation now a again, fighting I guess also does *grin*. I don't celbrate today. I don't really like chocolate, nor roses so I am set LOL!

  8. Hi Adrianne,

    You're so right about spontaneity throughout the year being so important. Even something so small as doing the dishes when your spouse is bone tired. My ex was always good with unexpected cards, flowers, even jewelry for years. It was when those cards stopped coming I knew something had changed. Luckily, we're still good friends.

    I toured your website. Congrats on your awards. Looking forward to reading your books.


  9. Hi Adrianne-
    I agree with you on the 24/7/365. Some people laugh at my DH and I cause we don't make a big deal of our anniversary (which we BOTH have forgotten on occasion!) or Valentine's or birthdays. Good thing we are both alike this way! We will do a little special dinner maybe but we don't worry about cards (sorry Hallmark) and gifts cause we get each other things all year long. We each know that the other is special and we are more special togetner.

  10. Since my birthday is the day before, other then a love of chocolate, I agree.

    I get a brithday card and a valentines card. I think the big V day reminds him, other then that we do nothing.

  11. Another thought provoking blog. Thanks so much Adrianne for getting our gray matter inspired.

    I'm not a big fan of the commercialization of holidays, but I am very fond of showing my loved ones how much I care. I don't normally make a big deal out of this day, or any other planned holiday, other than Christmas, but I do love to surprise my family, my man with small gifts or treasures when it suits me. This year has been a little different, family issues made me think again how precious a gift my husband is, and how it can all go so wrong if you don't treat that love as special.

    So, I'm doing the special dinner, and we'll spend more time together, but we won't exchange cards or candy, we don't need that and I'm afraid that bit just seems silly to me... Sorry Jamie. We'll do our own silly stuff and enjoy ourselves.

    Take care and for those of you who are celebrating this day, I wish you all the very best of Valentine's pleasures.

  12. In this downturn in the economy commercialized holidays make those who can't afford all the expensive gifts the ads say we have to buy. Could that be buying love?

    I like the sentiment not only from my loved ones, but also all my virtual friends. I just hate not being able to afford the things I used to buy before I retired, not because of a holiday, but just because. I once brought home a statue of Themis, Goddess of Justice for my lawyer. Of course now I can't afford to travel to Greece.

    Adrianne thank you so much for this thought provoking blog.


  13. Thank you for joining us at the Grip, Adrianne!

    I've been married for 26 years (which to me is incredible, seeing as I never expected to marry), and I couldn't agree with you more. The true test of love is the day-to-day, not one particular day.

    That being said, we're always happy to celebrate if it fits in with our schedule and our finances. But no pressure!!


  14. It's quite simple. I have no one to shower my attention on, this day or any other. That makes this "holiday" rather empty for me. Very few of my friends seem to look at this day the way we did back in grade school, i.e., just a little smile; they all seem to think that if they are not romantically involved with me, they don't need to send me a valentine. This attitude further empties my feelings on the subject. Waah.