A short one...

Please forgive me for being brief on this week’s theme.

I was talking with God the other day. He apologised.

He apologised for lots of things; the ambiguities in the bible that lead to religious wars; the anomaly of good folk finishing last whilst scum-suckers get all the decent stuff. The slowness of broadband speeds in certain areas. God appreciates that there are a lot of things for which he should apologise. But, most of all, he apologises for all the misunderstandings about life after death.

Personally I don’t understand the confusion. I have always hoped that there is no life after death. It’s bad enough having to endure this shit once. The thought of going through existence for a second time is worse than depressing. It suggests that there’s no viable escape route.

But God assures me there is life after death. Heaven exists. It’s a lot like that nice place on earth – the one where good things happen on a sunny day – only better. There’s no sadness or suffering. It’s lovely.

God says that everyone is dying to go there.