Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Everybody’s Frustrated


by Daddy X          


It had gone on for far too long. Harry and Alice would have to tell her thick-skulled husband Bart about their affair. Living right next door, it would’ve become obvious soon enough.  

Ding dong-

Bart opened the door. “Hey, Harry! What brings you over?”

“Hi, Bart. There’s something I need to...”

“Say what?”

“Well, it’s about—Jesus this is tough.”

“What is it? You need anything? Want to borrow something? Whaddaya need?”

“No, man. Nothing. I don’t need anything. This isn’t about that.”

“Don’t need nothin’? What is it then?”

“It’s about your wife. Me and your wife.”

“You wanna talk to Alice? Bart swung around, “Yo Alice! It’s Harry from next-”

“No! Wait, man!” Harry interrupted. “Don’t call her. Not yet.”

“What the fuck? You want her or not?”

“No—I mean yes.”

“You’re pissing me off, Harry.”

“I’ll talk to her later. Jesus! You’re not making this any easier, man.”

“Me? You come to my door blubbering some kinda shit-.”

“I can’t help it, Bart. We wish it was different but—Fuck!”

“WHAT?”

“Umm … unnn.”

“That does it.” SLAM!

“What’s going on?” shouted Alice. “Who’s out there?”

“Our asshole neighbor. Damn, is that guy frustrating.”


11 comments:

  1. Daddy:
    There is some brutal comedy here. I tried not to laugh, but I did.

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  2. Glad it had that effect, Spencer.

    Happy New Year all!!!

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  3. I couldn't help envisioning the cast of The Honeymooners here, maybe because "Alice" is the woman involved. Great work!

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    1. Hah! Yeah! I thought of that too, but too obvious to have him say:
      Yo Norton!

      Guess that'd be like fan fiction. Flash fan fiction. :>)

      Our fathers in WWII brought back cheap little stapled porno cartoon books featuring Popeye and Olive Oil, Maggie and Jiggs, Nancy & Sluggo in ... er... compromised situations? Hmmm... theme idea for some silliness???

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  4. Hilarious! Course, the husband knew exactly why he was there.

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    1. Dunno, JP. Some of my characters are true idiots. :>)

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  5. I laughed throughout pretty much the entire piece. You've really got the magic touch with the all dialogue flashers (or, I guess, more accurately, the mostly dialogue flashers).

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  6. I thought this was brilliant, Daddy. Plus, I really don't think that Bart got it.

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  7. Thanks Annabeth and Lisabet!

    Lisabet, you've seen enough of my stuff to know about my idiots. Thick mental floss.

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  8. I didn't think the husband got it. In fact, if he fails to see what is in front of his nose, and he takes his wife for granted, that would help explain why she is having an affair. :) Hilarious dialogue, suitable for a comedy act, but I have heard conversations like this (one person trying to explain something touchy, the other person missing all the clues.) :)

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  9. Hi Daddy X!

    When he said "You want her or not?" I thought "Oh wow - he knows already and he's okay with it." Like - "She's upstairs in the shower, go get her yourself and keep the noise down."

    That would have been weird.

    Garce

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