Thursday, April 10, 2008

True Love vs. Trophy Wives

Okay let me start by saying that I really don’t give a rip if two people who are of disparate ages—in either direction—fall in love. Weirder things have happened. It’s hard enough to find love in this world, take it where you find it, hold on with both hands, and don’t let the details bog you down.

Something that does make me roll my eyes on a good day or gag on a bad one—the trophy spouse phenomenon.

This isn’t about love. Trophy spouses are power plays. And yes, since we live in a world where there are still more men in positions of power than women, trophy wives are far more common than trophy husbands. Though Hollywood may be showing us a few of those, and maybe someday the corporate and political worlds will catch up.

I find it incredibly tacky, not to say asinine, when someone reaches the age of forty or fifty and suddenly decided to ditch the spouse who helped them build their career, usually the mother of their grown or nearly grown children, and replaces that spouse with a younger, shinier model. Frequently half their own age, and often, it seems half their IQ. Yes, this is a stereotype, but trophy spouses are often chosen because their intellect is not sufficient to challenge the spouse in power. They deliberately choose someone attractive, dim and usually the age of their first round of children. The original spouse is frequently shafted in the divorce because they have given up so much of their own time and identity to helping build their spouse’s career that they’ve set aside nothing for themselves.

This is a mid-life gesture to say, “I’ve still got it. I have the best car, the best house, the hottest spouse, and that makes me better than you.” Like I said up front. It's not about love. It's a power play, pure and simple.

Pathetic. And frequently a short-term solution at best. Soon the trophy spouse starts to age. Of course by then our serial jerk-off usually has a nice sound pre-nup in place. And the whole process begins again…


  1. I think a lot of it has to do with a man's insecurity about his sexual prowess. That seems to be such a focus ibn today's society. When we have Viagra commercials with snappy tunes and Cialis sponsors a golf tournament, it's apparent that this is how a man's masculinity is measured. The trophy wife seems to be a way of saying Look at me. I can do it more often, klonger and harder than anyone else and look who I can do it with. Somehow love and real emotion and connection have gotten lost in the whole process. We are so geared up to evaluate a man by his choice of a wife. How come no one cares about a woman's choice of a husband? Or her sexuality? Or what she wants the world to think of her? Not that I don't think some of these marriages work iout fine, but they have to be based on a lot more than Aginf Part A goes into Beautiful Part B. That's my take and I'm stickin' to it.

  2. Ummm....can we say DONALD TRUMP??? This stuff has been going on forever and, in my view, makes these men look STUPID. Yeah, I get cranked up about this stuff. My DH teased me one day and said...I think I need to trade you in for a newer model. My response? I snorted, rolled my eyes and said...hey, babe, go for it! This was all a dumb joke but more women should say that and mean it. If I guy is that damn stupid, then who needs him????

    Love this post!!!

  3. Makes me want to smack the back of his stupid head. Right now I'm thinking Bobby Brady actor and that Top Model idiot who is big into Taco Bell. Yikes.

  4. I want to add that the wife left behind would have been smarter to institute her own pre-nup... if ya bail, then you pay. I wonder why they don't?

  5. I have to agree with you on this cindy. I always make sure I do for myself and the kids before my other half. When we fight I just say go if you find anyone to take you. If a man wants some dumb bimbo who is skiner and better looking go for. Hey theres always going to be more men for us.

  6. Loved it. I think the man irrevocably stamps himself as weak. No guts to do the right thing.

  7. You know, I don't give a rats about the trophy wife scenario because usually the wife the man leaves is left better off as she can get on with her own life without this insecure man holding her back. Let him have his fantasy and let her get on with reality and fulfilling what she needs without the extra 'child' in her life.

  8. Oh YEAH...Amarinda. I agree COMPLETELY. To hell with him...get outta my LIFE so I can start LIVING.


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