Slipping away

This is my last Grip post. Like Anny, I'm off to other things. There's a crew of wonderful ladies in the wings waiting to take over. It's been wonderful sharing views every week and I look forward to seeing the directions the Grip will now take.

Happy writing and reading to you all. I'll be seeing you, and if you choose, you can keep up with me at my home blog.

Create Soundtrack…check

When I’m writing a book, one of the first tasks I complete is making a soundtrack for the manuscript. All of the song on the list mean something to the story. They set the tone or correspond to events happening throughout. I have a Zune and one of the things I love about it is that I can keep a bazillion playlists on my computer. All I need to do is plug in my headphones, select a list and go. Some lists are short. Some are long. The nice thing about playlists on the computer is that I’m not limited to CD space, and since they’re utilizing the same bank of songs, they take up minimal space on the PC.

Here’s my playlist for one of my current works in progress, a mainstream forbidden older woman/younger man story:

1. Two Sparrows in a Hurricane – Tanya Tucker
2. Angels Would Fall – Melissa Etheridge
3. Stain Glass Masquerade – Casting Crowns
4. Follow Me – Uncle Kracker
5. How Do I Live – Tricia Yearwood
6. Enjoy the Silence – Depeche Mode
7. I Was Made For Loving You – Kiss
8. It’s Not Over – Daughtry
9. Crush – David Archuleta
10. Mrs. Robinson – The Lemonheads
11. Monday Morning Church – Alan Jackson
12. Suffering – Jay-Jay Johanson
13. This Year’s Love – David Gray
14. Losing My Religion – REM
15. Careless Whispers – WHAM!
16. Mrs. Steven Rudy – Mark McGuinn
17. What Happens in Vegas – Phil Vassar
18. Only the Good Die Young – Billy Joel
19. Life’s a Dance – John Michael Montgomery
20. I Swear – John Michael Montgomery
21. Only Hope – Mandy Moore

Eclectic. It works for me. I encourage anyone who loves music and works by it to make up their own playlist. Yes, it takes time to put together a playlist, but when I write to music, I get at least double the work complete.

Happy Writing!!
~~Brynn

Cabin Fever

Sorry, but when I hear this term, I picture the Muppets from Muppet Treasure Island chanting “We’ve got Cabin Fever. We’ve got Cabin Fever. We’ve got Cabin Fever …” Makes me giggle.

I rarely get cabin fever so I’m probably not going to be help to you at all. I am a hermit. If I could, I would go days on end without leaving the house, but I’m forced to and I often look like Mr. Mole blindly poking his head out of his hole and complaining about the bright evil sun—even if it’s not particularly bright. I’m content and happy with my life. I rarely want to get away.

Generally, if I get cooped-up syndrome it’s because I’ve been locked up in close quarters with people for too long without that solitude thing I was complaining about a few weeks ago. It’s very very easy to solve.

1. If I can get away for a few hours by myself, I will.

2. If I can’t get away, I completely rethink my everyday pattern and do something new. I don’t bake everyday, but I love to bake, so I’ll do that. Or I’ll do something artistic. I give myself a mind vacation without even stepping outside.

My Favorite Villain

Sometimes, the villains are the best part of a story in my opinion. They’re fun and interesting and usually just very misunderstood. Today I’m going to tell you about my favorite villain: Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty.

She’s just a girl who wants to be invited to the parties but is always left out. So she doesn’t have pretty skin like all the popular kids—the green pretty much lets her off of “fairest of them all”. When she asked for a puppy, her parents got her a raven. Thanks mom and dad…as if she wasn’t already fighting creepy with the black clothes and bad skin.

She could have gone emo, but that went against her grain. She likes to smile. So it freaks people out and they call her grin evil. What do they know? Sometimes she’s just thinking about a good cup of coffee. You’d think with all her powers she could get one. Starbucks builds everywhere. Do you think they could build near her castle? Do they thinks trolls and goblins and dark fairies don’t need coffee? Heck they need coffee more than anyone. They work nights…a lot of nights.

Night owl, black clothes with bat-wing edges, green skin, yellow eyes like her dad (thanks again, pop), raven for a pet… She’s got outcast written all over her. She was the kid all the teachers warily watched in high school. They should have been watching the jocks who relentlessly picked on her. She could have turned them all into toads. Okay, she did once, but that was an accident.

She couldn’t help it. She’s got all these cool powers and a touch of temper. Of course people just thought she was freaky, so she went off and hid in that creepy old castle with the goblins. She decided to call them minions to get past the fact that they’re goblins and frankly scare her half to death. It’s a bit of a contest…who’s scarier. She must always win if only for self preservation. Of course the popular kids shun her for that, too.

And then there was that spinning wheel thing. Could people just appreciate the work she got them out of? Noooooo! She just knew the king would overreact and burn them all. C’mon, who really dies from a prick of the finger? She was exaggerating. No because stupid Stefan is such an overreactor, she’s going to once again have to prove her power again. It’s just like when they dated once: He was the rich kid, venturing over the tracks and she thought he was serious about seeing past all her baggage. What a bunch of crap he’d spouted. “Your eyes are my sun” my foot. At the first sign of peer pressure, he was gone.

Really, the minions are better. More reliable, too.

So then, she tried to go the route of the older woman with a younger man. Stupid Phillip. He was all about being the bad boy and defying his father and experimenting with BDSM. But the first time she chained him in her dungeon, look what happened. Wuss.

So this is Maleficent. Alone, misunderstood, getting angry…she has a rich background with many factors that have molded her into the powerful villain she is. If you look deeper though, you find she’s just a wounded little girl who once really wanted a puppy and acceptance.

All villains are like this. They have a story. They weren’t just born the evilest of evil. Look at them, study them and give them reasons for the way they are.

Paulin Family Christmas

We don’t have a ton of holiday traditions at my house, in fact I’m a bit non-traditional. The tree picture on the blog today is my Christmas tree. If I had to have a tree, I wanted it to be special. I wanted something my kids would remember and laugh about when they get older. My family didn’t have a lot of traditions when I was growing up, but I have created a few for my husband (who didn’t celebrate Christmas as a child) and kids.

There are a few things we always do.

Cookies. There must be cookies. The kids and I make several kinds throughout the season. Additionally, I make special Czechoslovakian nutroll cookies every year on the 24^th to celebrate our heritage.

Family. My mother, brothers and their families and my family get together on Christmas eve to celebrate the holidays and that is the official start of our celebration. We eat and visit and open gifts. Afterward, we go to church.

Togetherness. On Christmas morning, I get up early and light the tree. The gifts were put out the night before, and it looks pretty all lit up. But we know we weren’t the first ones to check out the tree. As my husband and I lay in bed, we always hear one of the kids go out and peek then report back to his brother. The four of us eat breakfast together. I always make egg bake. Afterward, we gather around the tree and open our gifts. One thing we’ve always done on Christmas is reserve the day for us. We don’t do outside family obligations on Christmas day. It’s the four of us. We stay home and relax and spend time together.

Movie. In the evening, we go and see a movie together at the theatre. It’s always something the entire family can watch. Last year, it was National Treasure 2. This year is Bedtime Stories.

Do you see a theme? It’s togetherness and memories. That’s our family tradition.

I Like it Here, Thanks

My comfort zone is spacious so I usually don’t find myself very limited. I have my grade school and high school English teachers to thank for that. They made me write many different types of fiction over the years. Thanks to them I don’t feel a lot of fear about branching out.

If I want to write something, I do. I don’t feel limited. However, I find I prefer certain types of books. I gravitate toward them and avoid others. Fantasy, Historical, Contemporary (m/f, m/m and ménage), I write them all.

That’s a lot of material to fit in one comfort zone.

It’s also not always easy. For example, writing BDSM didn’t come without hours and hours and hundreds of pages of research. By the time I started writing serious BDSM stories (instead of light kink) I was well versed in the techniques and mindsets of the participants. The same goes with ménage. Hours of research.

For me, understanding and knowledge define my comfort zone. If I’m writing fantasy, I thoroughly flesh-out the world. If I’m writing a historical, BDSM, ménage, etc., I do the research necessary for me to feel well-versed in the subject. That’s my best advice for anyone who wants to try writing in an area where they feel unsure. Learn the subject. Make it yours. And you’ll feel right at home.

Recharge ME

Since I work a more than full-time job, write and am raising a family, I find that recharging is imperative to keeping it all together. It’s also the most neglected part of my life. Often when I’m engaging in those activities that nourish my soul, I find myself thinking “I should be working” or “My manuscript is waiting to be done.” It’s hard to shut off those voices, and sometimes the very act of trying to recharge becomes as stressful as not doing it at all.

That’s no good.

Here are three tricks I’ve come up with:

1. Schedule this time. There’s something freeing about having a time that is designated for yourself. You’re worth it. Do it.

2. Don’t let have-tos infringe on this time. This is what I mean: often my outlets can become projects for other people. In comes the stress again. Try to focus more on what you’re doing for you.

3. Put your foot down when it comes to work hours. My job could literally run from the time I get up until the time I go to bed and there would always be more to do. Designate “work hours” and stick to them.

As far as outlets go, I find there are a few things I really like to do, things that free my brain, “de-stress” me, and get my creativity flowing again.

I love to scrapbook and make cards. This is perhaps my greatest outlet. Strangely, most of my cards are never sent to other people. I just make them as something artistic to do or I give them away to other people to use. I used to make all my Christmas cards but that got to be a chore so I stopped.

I draw. I’m not a doodler. I’m very good at still-lifes and animals. Sometimes I draw people, but they’re sketchy. Portraits aren’t my strong suit. Often I’ll just open a magazine and sketch animals that are in photos. Or I’ll ‘copy’ a book cover into black and white pencil.

I sing or play the piano. I can’t do both at the same time. I’m part of a choir and I’m part of a contemporary band (as a singer). I’m also a soloist at church. Music has always been an outlet for me. Sometimes if I’m stressed, I just get in my car and drive and blast the radio. Or I’ll drive and sing, sometimes off-key, at the top of my lungs.

Most importantly, I just find some time to be alone. I think this is the place I’m often short-changed and where others are, too. Since I work at home, I’m not surrounded by office personnel all the time, but I do have family members around me constantly. When part are at school, others are at home. When others are working, the rest are at home. Being alone, in silence, is the most important creative outlet I have, and it’s the most difficult to get. I’ve found that in the constantly spinning world around me, solitude is the one thing I need daily in order to recharge. I actually start to shake with built up stress if I don’t get it. I’m a real crank, too. I require a time when I know I’m not going to be interrupted mid-thought or startled out of my skin or subjected to other people’s noise. When I can, I go to the park or again, take a drive, or take a walk…anything to be alone with my thoughts. Ironically, I’m the only one in my family who desperately needs this.

Or who knows I need it. I think many people would be surprised by how rejuvenating they’d find a few minutes silence and “aloneness” if they tried it.

In this holiday season, I’d encourage all of you to find some recharge time. Perhaps you need a few minutes of solitude or an artistic outlet. Find it and immerse yourself—guilt-free—for a short while every day. I hope you find a calm and well-being that will see you through this hectic time so that you can have a merry holiday with your sanity intact.

All Characters Are Important

I spend a lot of time avoiding stereotypes. Blondes are not always dumb. Computer geniuses and scientists are not always geeks. Heroes aren’t McGuiver and don’t always have the answers to any question or situation they confront. Heroines aren’t golden-haired princesses who have birds and fairy dust floating around them as they do no wrong. Moms and dads aren’t the Cleavers. Gay men aren’t uber-feminine. The bad guy isn’t always evilest evil who ever existed.

Stereotypes for characters can go on and on. Let’s face it stereotypes are easy to write. Many of us spend a lot of time doing character-building for our main characters—at least, we had better be doing this. But what happens when we have to write the next door neighbour or the gas station attendant or a cop? We fall back on stereotypes. We have preconceived notions of how these people should/will act. This is one of the trickiest places in a manuscript. My suggestion for this is to do a small sketch for this characters. Not a lot. A half page. All characters are important. Don’t let the secondaries take over the book, but don’t neglect them, either.

Happily Ever After

When it comes to books and movies, Brynn Paulin has one rule: there must be a happy ending. After that one requirement, anything goes. And it just might in her books.

That’s a clip from my author bio and it’s absolutely true. I believe in happy endings, and I prefer happily ever after endings. Actually, I have a very strong opinion about them. Let’s face it, there’s enough bad stuff going around in the world without me writing an ending that leaves the characters with more horror, sorrow or hardship. As a romance author, I feel that I owe it to my reader to deliver the goods—the warm fuzzy goods. It’s part of the “contract”. Romantic books are adult fairytales. Romance + Hero + Heroine = HEA.

HEA stands for Happily Ever After. In my books, that’s what you’re going to find. HEA. There’s a trend right now for a new ending “Happy for Now”. In many cases, happy for now, in my opinion, is a copout and a betrayal and a little too much like the wishy-washy society we live in that perpetuates the “if you’re not happy, move on” philosophy. There is no permanence or stability.

I have to agree with the commenter yesterday who mentioned honesty in the ending. I’m not advocating a deus ex machina, suddenly all is well and the choirs sing ending. While the characters in a book should experience trials and emotional upheaval, a book should be written with a slant toward getting to the HEA. When you get there, it’s not a surprise though no one could predict the path. It makes sense to get to the HEA. It has to make sense. The “Poof! And they kiss and declare undying love even though they hated each other with unmitigated passion one paragraph ago” kind of stories really irritate me. I wonder, did you run out of words? Did you just get tired of writing the book? Did you not notice what was happening here?

Opinionated? Me? No…

Do I think that the characters in a HEA ending will never face a trial or unhappiness again? No. I don’t think they’re going to live in some romantic utopia where nothing goes wrong, but when THE END comes around, I know that the hero and heroine are united. They will face anything else that happens in their lives as a unit. They are each other’s strength and comfort.

Yes, I think beyond the last page while I’m writing. I can’t be the only author who does that. I often think of many “but what if this happens?” scenarios while I’m writing. Will the connection I’m creating stand up to adversity? If it doesn’t pass my test, I rework things. It helps to fireproof your characters so to speak.

I guess I have to backtrack here for a sec… That happy for now ending. Sometimes it’s necessary. If the characters meet and the romance takes place over the course of a day and/or the emotional connection between them can’t be realistically developed then happy for now has to happen in order to ring true. I believe in love at first sight and soul mates. Quick connections can happen in my realm of experience, but you have to be uber-careful in writing it.

Honestly, this topic is so important to me that I could go on forever. But, I won’t. I’ll end with two reiterations:

1. Romance + Hero + Heroine = HEA

2. Brynn Paulin + Book = HEA

It’s just the way it is.

My Muse

My muse is a man. He never tells me what I need to know until after the fact. And he’s annoying. And he likes to vacation in Europe while I’m in the middle of writing a book. He’s fond of whispering sweet nothings in my ear while I’m drifting off to sleep or giving me the key turning point in my story while I’m in the shower. I’d fire him, but somehow, he gets the job done.

He likes water. He talks while I swim or I’m in the whirlpool. He speaks in the rain and have I mentioned the shower? If I’m really, really stuck on a story, you might find me heading for a long, hot shower in the middle of the afternoon.

He adores music. I listen and he send movies through my head. We like to drive and plot. I’ve learned to take notes with one hand while I guide the car through traffic with the other. I’m good at writing without looking at the paper.

Music. I write to it. The muse has picked a soundtrack for every book and it’s part of my manuscript prep work. There are some songs that are basic to every book I write. I have various versions of Hallelujah that make it onto every soundtrack (think Rufus Wainwright’s version in Shrek). This Year’s Love by David Gray is essential. Lullaby by the Dixie Chicks. In My Heaven the Bo Bice version. Breath and Diary of Jane by Breaking Benjamin. Music invokes mood. I carefully choose each song to match the emotion of what I’m writing. The muse likes that. It’s his crutch.

But sometimes I take that crutch away. When the muse refuses to speak, I refuse to let him have music or sound. You might be amazed by how quickly answers come after five minutes driving in a totally silent car.

I’m not insane. I don’t really think there is some guy who follows me around whispering into my ear—wouldn’t that be nice? And annoying. But there are ways to trick the brain. I know my brain’s triggers. As a writer, I think that’s one of the most important things to learn. What and where are the circumstances that allow your creativity to flow? Is there certain music? Are there certain pictures to look at? A particular scent? A particular place? A particular format (paper versus computer)? Do you need to be alone or can you write with people around?

I’ve long said that I don’t believe in writer’s block. I believe in writer’s procrastination. I believe in writer’s distraction. I believe as a writer, you have to learn how to get around that. We must outwit the muse and tell him we’re in charge…

Take away his music until he speaks.

Author Responsibility

So you write a book. It’s fiction right? You can write whatever you want, right? Have your characters do whatever they want? Well, not exactly.

For many of us, our books are based in reality. I’m not saying that we’re rewriting true stories and touting them as fiction. I am saying that many of us are dealing with “people” who we’re sending out into the human race. We need to pay attention to the laws of reality. I think every author has two overriding responsibilities: research and safety.

We have to research? People know this is fiction. Can’t we take creative license? Well, mostly…no. If you want to write people living in a real-life society, you need to know history. You need to know how things work. You need to know laws. You need to know the actual lay of the land. Not only will it add flavour to your book, but there will always be someone to tell you a “2005 Taurus doesn’t have that option” or that the word gay to designate a male-male relationship didn’t come into use until the early 1900s, in fact meaning a womanizing man as recently as the 17th century. Therefore your character in 1352 wouldn’t use it in that context. (Yes, if you write historical books, you must be conscious of word origins)

If you want to be a credible author, you’ll know your facts. This leads me to the other half of what I call author responsibility. Safety. Some of us write some edgy subjects. A lot of us write steamy sex, but just because we write fiction doesn’t mean a reader won’t read something we write and think it would be a good idea to try. Heck, I have. Why wouldn’t someone else? As many of you know, I write a lot of BDSM novels. Everything I write has to go on the page with an eye to safety. Safe, sane and consensual is the BDSM credo, but it should be the credo of romance writers, too. Don’t write something that could potentially send someone to the emergency room. You’re not writing a how-to manual, but you still need to present things in a “this is how this is safely done” format.

This doesn’t just apply to edge play. I read a book recently where the characters were playing with food and my instant thought was “this isn’t going to end well.” And how about…condoms. Should we put them on our characters? Should we worry about STDs and unplanned pregnancies? Or should we make an unobtrusive public service announcement and just slip the latex on? Condoms are a sore spot with me. As a writer I still wrestle with the responsibility of this one. And I say to myself, “Come on…it’s fiction.”

Brynn, please read above…

Seriously, especially when it comes to sexual activities in a book, an author must be responsible in how things are presented. Our characters might run around performing acts of daring-do around the continent and a reader will read with vicarious enjoyment. This is interesting and things they might never dream of doing. But when our characters settle down with their lover and get basic…this is something the reader could do—and might.

Variations on sex are still somewhat taboo things. It’s not something that’s openly taught or discussed. And if someone wants to spice up their love life and they don’t want to go to a sex shop, order a sex manual or surf the net for porn, where are they going to turn? Perhaps that spicy romance novel, with that dashing hero and kick-ass heroine…the book that’s sitting on the bed stand…page 56…

I'd Like the Ten Also

Since I was young, the relationship of older women to younger man has always intrigued me. As a member of the dating pool, I always dated younger men and in turn married one. As a writer, it’s one of my favorite relationships to write. Why I’ve been intrigued and why I like to write those relationships comes down to the same reason. There’s always been a slight taboo, a naughtiness, to a woman dating or marrying a younger man—at least that’s perception prevalent in society. Things are changing. An informal survey of the contributors to this blog will tell you that four of the five are in an older woman/younger man relationship. Granted in some cases, the age span is small, but whether there’s a difference of three weeks or three years or thirty years, women often gets teased or looked down upon for robbing the cradle or having a boy toy. Not always, but it happens.

As Anny mentioned, the sort of relationship isn’t a new thing, though people tend to believe it is. So I hit the books:

Did you know that Catherine II of Russia created the role of Queen’s Consort during her reign? The position was always filled by young twenty-somethings who went through a rigorous screening, including testing in bed by her appointed test-woman, in order to get the…um…position. The role was filled on a rotating basis until she was sixty-seven.

Well-known Cleopatra had a temple built where she kept young male lovers. Of course, she kept them drugged—not with snake venom—to increase their lust.

Oooh…a whole temple full of young lovers? Sign me up! But then there’s Empress Theodora. This lusty older woman was well-known for taking ten young men to her bed in an evening. Did they have a number system do you think? Traffic lights?

Queen Zingua of Angola had young warriors fight to the death for her. And they got the prize of bedding her. She had them killed in the morning, but that’s another story.

These were all short term (very short in some cases) relationships. What about the long haul? In romantic fiction, the older woman, younger man scenario has grown in popularity over the last few year. As I mentioned, I’ve always enjoyed it—three of the books on my keeper shelf are early Harlequin Temptations which covered that relationship and the neurotic reactions to it. Woman were afraid they’d be shunned and looked down on…

Do we still have those same fears? My husband is younger than I am, and believe me back when we dated and got married in the early 90’s, I downplayed that as much as possible. It takes a lot of strength to brave a plethora of robbing the cradle jokes. It takes a lot of will power not to get peeved too. Who’s right is it to say who we can and can’t fall in love with?

There’s some sort of unspoken mainstream rule that has always said the man must be older. Why? Who knows?

Societally, this is just what we’ve been told. It might stem back to the middle ages (or earlier) when progeny was imperative. A young woman who could bear lots of kids was the ticket. It’s about time to kick that bucket.

Psychologically speaking, the man being older stems from instinct. Woman have instinctively sought a protector. It goes back to the whole hunt and gather thing. Men provided. Women bore the young. A younger woman was better equipped. (Oh see, we’re there again)

Physically, the older man/much younger woman set-up makes little sense. While female fertility drops in their thirties, male fertility drops then as well. Women tend to have about a seven year longer life expectancy too. Excuse me, but wouldn’t a man with good swimmers who can accompany you into your later years seem a good choice. Well, you know…if that kid thing is important to you. Today, in many cases it’s not. It doesn’t play a role in our mating game.

As women, we are free to choose who we want as mates. More and more, we’re exercising that right. Books about these relationships are helping change traditional mindsets. So is Hollywood. Do these couplings sound familiar? Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Madonna and Guy Ritchie…these are just a few.

Woman aren’t necessarily looking for younger men. We demand what we want and don’t necessarily sit back and let society tell us how things should be. There are options we were never “allowed” to consider. Good options. Men who might just end up being the love of our lives. We’re looking for fun, interesting, exciting and yes, just a little taboo. A guy who feels…great. A partner. A mate. And when it comes down to that, well age doesn’t really matter. In real life or on the pages of a book.

Gloria Steinem and I Aren't Best Friends

What I’m about to say isn’t going to make me very popular, especially with women’s libbers. I love men. I love being with them. I love talking about them. I love writing them. And I want a man to be a man.

When I think alpha, I don’t think of the heroes in novels from the seventies and eighties. So many of them, while alpha, were also great big jerks. No, what I think of is a man who is in control and who will guide the situation to his will for the good of everyone, not just for a petty whim. The alpha male is in charge and can make a decision. He doesn’t need a committee to get things done. He doesn’t need to ask five people what they think… He gets it done.

My book On Your Knees had this dedication: To all the women who have to be in control but don’t want to be.

That’s the thing. More and more today, many women are being forced into roles they neither want nor enjoy. It’s not how we’re constructed, yet in order for the world to go ‘round, woman have become the decision makers in their homes, in the workplace, in the bedroom.

I contend that quite a few women don’t want all the power that’s been thrust upon them. And that men are being stymied by the shift of dynamics. Yes I believe in equal pay for equal work. I’m thankful for the right to vote. I’m glad my day consists of more than cleaning and cooking and child-rearing. But for God's sake, there’s nothing wrong with a man opening a door for you, having an opinion or being the consummate leader of his pack, so to speak.

As a woman, I like feeling watched over. I like feeling like a world of responsibility doesn’t rest on my shoulders. I think many woman are exactly in that position—everything falls to them. They long for a man who will give them relief from that. There’s no mistaking the popularity of Male Dominant/female submissive BDSM books nor the way ménage books with two men and a woman fly off the shelves. These are books comprised of strong heroines and strong men. Alpha men. It’s the fantasy we seek, because let’s face it—finding a man like the ones in books is near to impossible. But isn’t that what reading fiction, especially romance, is about? Fantasy? Escape? The encounter with the love or the people who take our breath away and, hopefully, remind us of the blush of our new love…way back when? Or model what we once sought or dreamed (or still dream) about in a lover? An alpha: The man who’s comfortable in his position, who knows what he wants—what you want too—and isn’t afraid to do what needs to be done to obtain it. A man others look up to. A man who stands a head and shoulders above…

A man who’s fiercely possessive and who loves his mate with undying passion.

So yes, I feel the men in the books I write—and the books I read—must be alpha.

Partnership

I had a hard time starting this piece. My critique partner is sleeping. Let’s be truthful, I can’t live without her. When I think my writing sucks and that this time the magic isn’t going to happen, that I’ve lost my ability to write, just the word ‘more?’ will encourage me. No, she’s not a cheerleader or a crutch. In fact, she can be pretty hard on me. She’s a brave woman.

Why? Well, I don’t take criticism well. Okay, see, now it’s out there. I get cranky at myself when I’ve missed words or misspelled something, but tell me a scene isn’t working…I’ll pout. Yeah, I’m such a baby. So then I’ll stomp back to the drawing board and fix it. She’s never steered me wrong, and I hope she can say the same back.

Because we’re partners. We take it to a little higher level than Anny mentioned yesterday or than she’d want. Not only does my critique partner comment on story flow, but she marks structural problems. She’d be horrified if I turned in a manuscript that wasn’t clean. Same here.

But that’s what’s expected of our partnership. I would never try to rewrite her story, but I will point out errors. When setting out in a critique relationship, it’s of the utmost importance to know what’s expected—just like in any relationship really. For example ‘this is good’ as a comment alone won’t cut it for me when I’m looking for a critique—but I won’t complain if I hear it. I expect to be flayed and have the words cut to the bone. Thankfully, painful flayings are much less frequent than they used to be.

My critique partner and I have been together since 1992. That’s as long as I’ve been married. In fact, we hooked up two weeks before my wedding. I’d be willing to go out on a limb and say we know each other well. We know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I think that’s important, too. You won’t get a feel for each other’s writing in just one session. It takes several. Patience is important, as is communication. If you don’t like the way a critique is done, you should tactfully say so—and not because you’re pouting (like me) or because you don’t take criticism well.

Anyway, 1992…that’s a long time. We were together for fourteen years before she was published and fifteen for me. Ironically, our books were accepted mere months apart. Since we essentially learned to write together, we’re at the same writing level and it seems just. Time together aside, I could have been bitter or competitive because she got an acceptance first. I’m a very competitive person, but let me say and be very clear, there is no place for competition or bitterness in a critique relationship. There just isn’t. Neither is there a place for superiority. Both of those things will kill the partnership in short order. Even if your partner is published first or more frequently published, she still needs you. She trusts you to be there for her.

For the record, my critique partner is Bronwyn Green and I couldn’t be more proud to have her at my side as I write and to stand beside her as she pens great books.