I'll be the first to admit I'm no expert on fancy weddings. We didn't HAVE one. My DH was in law school at the time, money was tight, and we, frankly, didn't want to WAIT so we basically ELOPED. Nothing fancy...believe me. Looking back I wish we'd had a picture or two to commemorate the occasion but no. Just memories of the day and a great weekend at Galveston Island. We'll be married 26 years this October. We had a HALLOWEEN WEDDING, if you can believe it. It's always been a big joke around our house that instead of saying "I DO", we said "TRICK OR TREAT" or I might get completely corny and say our wedding was very scary. Yuck Yuck.
Funny thing, my sister married two years later and had all the bells and whistles. A very posh affair, mass amount of money spent and I still remember her sitting in the bathtub CRYING hours before the wedding because she was soooo majorly stressed out. It went off without a hitch though. Very beautiful. She and her husband will celebrate 24 years together at the end of summer.
Over the course of our marriage, we've had our ups and downs like most couples, but we've always worked through things. Talk, talk, talk. It's the most important advice I could give any new couple. Most arguements really and truly seem to stem from little things and I learned early on to ask myself if this little deal is really IMPORTANT. Nine times out of ten, it isn't. Marriage is about giving, bending, understanding, and compromise. My husband has been practicing law in this area of Texas for many years, has handled thousands of divorces. Yes, lots are warranted but more often than not, couples lose that sizzle and spark and end things because of it. It's a shame really because sizzle and spark isn't all that important in the end. Yeah, we revive it from time to time...have date nights and spend lots of time together...but marriage is more about friendship and common goals, in my view.
It might not sound very romantic, but there it is.
Great comments, Regina. Every experience is different, but everyone is important to the people involved. And staying happy for 26 years is SO much more important than flashy gowns and flowers.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Regina. I couldn't agree more about the compromise aspect of a healthy relationship. For the long run, it is as important if not more so than maintaining or periodically renewing that initial sizzle. :D
ReplyDeleteFriendship is no small thing. When the health is gone and the sizzle is on the back burner, friendship is what glues the rest together.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, when things are rough, they are the only things binding us together until that love can find footing again. Thank you for the revelation, Rita.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Cindy, it was funny. I really HAD our wedding pretty much planned out. I keep thinking it would've been beautiful but having everyone a ton of money and moving on with things, in the end, were much more important.
ReplyDeleteTo James, Anny and Kelly: compromises turn out to be pretty easy most of the time. I'll find myself thinking...this is REALLY important to him and it's NOT to me so it's okay. I don't have to always be RIGHT.
communication is a must in marriage! It clears up a lot of clashes!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of Eloping. It sounds so romantically adventurous ! :D