Happy Present Kindle Gremlins Sitcom DS Day!

Things I like to do at Christmas time:

1. Eat beetroot with ham and sour cream. I think this means I may have been Russian in a past life, even though I'm probably just making up what Russians eat, based on some TV show I saw once about someplace that wasn't Russia.

2. Watch Gremlins. It's my favourite Christmas film, because it's actually about little creatures that visciously kill people with tractors, instead of fookin reindeeors or summat. I mean, no one would ever be scared by a movie called Rudolph, would they? And if you fed a reindeer some stuff after midnight, it wouldn't turn into anything else. It'd probably just fart a lot and stink out your bedroom, if you'd been stupid enough to keep it in a box next to your bed like you would a Mogwai.

3. Play my DS. I can usually be found on Christmas day, trying to draw an apple on my DS screen, or maybe blow up some jewels, or throw a turtle at a dragon while driving a car.

4. Watch large amounts of sitcoms. Christmas is supposedly a time for good cheer, so I artifically inseminate myself with some by putting on boxsets of The Office and 30 Rock.

5. Watch Christmas food programs. Seeing Delia take seven years to cook a ham always makes me feel that much better about my patented Beetroot Surprise, with maybe some cooked from frozen nibbles from Marks and Spencers. Yeah, I took five minutes to make this, Delia. What did you do with your Christmas? Oh that's right, you made a giant gammon that you now can't eat, cos it's July.

6. Play on the Wii with Husband. It's funny when he falls down holes. Even on games that don't have holes, he manages to find them and fall into them. It's probably Freudian.

7. Read books on the Kindle. Last year, I read an entire book on Christmas day. My family don't remember my name, anymore. I'm just that thing that looks at stuff, in the corner.

8. Watch everybody open the presents I got them. Cos I am ace at getting presents. I love getting people presents. I love watching Husband look at the presents after he's gotten them, going through all the stuff he likes all careful.

Ahhh, Christmas. I love you so much.