Subtle Indulgences

By Kathleen Bradean

Chocolate truffle.

My teeth push down, gently cracking the outer layer then slide through the interior. My tongue feels the smooth texture fractions of a second before the flavor blooms along with the scent. I sigh with satisfaction as the intense, rich, decadent indulgence lingers on my palate.

Blue cheese. Wood fire grilled oysters. Samsuta tangerines.

I'm an oral sensualist, which is hell on the diet, but a little can go a long way even when you're talking about moments of bliss.

Basmati rice. Comice pears. Squid.

While I'm attracted to the extremes of espresso, straight vodka, and freshly cracked black pepper, subtle definitely has a place in the world of sublime flavors. In fact, I'm quite a fan of subtle things. Even the most ardent fan of BDSM isn't going to use rope, or spank, or clamp, wax, or whip their sex partner every time they get together. Only acting your most extreme sexual fantasies would probably get dull after a while. Can you imagine knife play or suspension being same old, same old? Ugh. And every time I read about a mishap with auto-erotica where someone winds up dead, I always wonder why go to that extreme to get off. If you're that bored with sex, maybe it's time to abstain from any sex for a while. Trust me, if you haven't even allowed yourself to masturbate for a year, oral sex is going to feel wonderful and new and exciting all over again.

So I've recommitted to exploring the wonderful world of slow, sensual, subtle sex. I need almost zero foreplay, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do it. There's something so exquisite about touch. The slow glide of a hand over bare skin builds anticipation. Almost touching a known sensitive spot and then backing away from it is the right kind of tease. Imagine your lover a little frustrated and amused as his/her/hir nerves try to figure out where your touch will land next. How about the warmth of your breath? Concentrate it on sensitive flesh like a nipple until your lover is used to the sensation then stop. In these chilly winter months, the surrounding air will feel even colder once you take it away. All of this takes time, but show me a lover who doesn't occasionally like to be the center of loving, caressing, subtle attention as if there's nothing you'd rather do than spend all eternity focusing on them, and I'll show you... hmmm. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't like that.