Dingus, an over-stimulated Horned Brillo Buzzer, was watching Muff and Cunny, also very stimulated Horned BB's, flying overhead towards home. Their sleek blue feathers enhanced the beauty of their slender forms. He thought to himself, 'I've got to do something, and fast or I'll never catch those two,' and so flew after them, being careful not to snag his growing Captain Standish on the branch as he took off.
What Dingus had failed to notice however, was that Muff saw him and told Cunny that he was following. While they both desired Dingus, they wanted to make sure that their joining would be a memorable experience for them all. Landing on the uppermost branch of the home tree, the two fems began planning, and stroking each other in preparation for Dingus' arrival. It was difficult to talk, as you can well imagine, beaks you know… as well as the rapidly growing excitement, but they managed to form a plan.
Minutes later Dingus clumsily landed, but to his dismay, he was quite alone. It seemed as if he was forever, that moment too late and was disheartened, but still incredibly stimulated. His mighty stalk protruded and throbbed before him, threatening to over balance him. (Dingus was a very well hung Horned Brillo Buzzer) Although he ached to pop a nut, he was also terribly tired of the touch of his own wing. So, gazing lustfully around, he searched for some alternative.
Low and behold, he found it, a knothole that reminded him of a furburger. With wicked glee, he approached, his crack haunter leading the way. The tip dripped and his danglers throbbed, he was beside himself with unmitigated desire.
Okay, okay, I'll take pity on you all. Needless to say, Dingus' Adventure never has been published.
I do love it when an author can add humor into his or her works. I'm slightly jealous too, but don't tell. My partner in crime, Jamie Hill has a knack for making her characters come alive, each one with a different sense of humor. Some are wicked and edgy, others are more innocent, while another has a more somber humor. Sigh, she's even added it into the stories we work on together.
Now, limericks I adore, yet even those I have real trouble putting together.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a c#%+ I would f@#* it!"
And another, cause I can.
There once was a man from Peru,
who fell asleep in a canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up with a hand full of goo.
Did I put these together, you might ask. Well, unfortunately no, I've had these stashed on my computer for years. I've no idea where they came from but they're funny.
In real life, I've had a number of hilarious experiences, yet I rarely try to put them into the writing I love so much. I don't tell jokes, I married a man who can tell them by the hour and still makes me laugh hysterically. Why would I tell jokes when I have him around? Yet, there have been moments: making wild passionate love in the early morning when the little ones were supposed to be in bed, sleeping. In the throws of a mind blowing almost orgasm when a little voice asks, "Daddy, why are you making mommy cry?"
OMG! What a way to end a beautiful moment. No, she's still alive. I didn't kill her, but it may be that having my fella on top of me at the time is why.
Life provides us with a plethora (word of the day folks) of humorous moments, yet how many of us don't talk about them? I stumble over jokes, forgetting lines because I'm trying too hard. Knowing what I do wrong, doesn't help. Writing them, I read over what I've written and to me, it's just not funny. Doesn't fit the character, or the moment, or I'm just not sure.
So, Jamie Hill, Helen Madden and all you others who can dip into the humor pot and paint your work in dazzling jokes, I bow to you. And, I thank you for making my reading just that little bit richer and more interesting.
Who likes a bit of humor integrated in your sex?