Bad Magpies

Predictions scare me. I can't make them. If I make them, they'll never, ever come true. But I know they're out there, just lurking around some corner, waiting for me. I mean, even if I don't make them because I know that when I do, they won't come true...well, it then follows that the opposite of what I'm thinking will almost certainly come true.

So basically, the opposite of my predictions about something for myself will be the actual predictions that happen. Or something like that. Mostly I'm just confusing myself now, though when I put it in these terms, it works:

a) I predicted that I would never, ever get an agent because I'm rubbish.

b) I queried an agent because of something good that happened, and everyone telling me that the good thing meant I needed one.

c) I actually got an agent.


I mean, you can clearly see a through-line there, right? I predicted something, and the opposite miraculously happened. I'm like a psychic, in reverse - though I must warn you...this mystical talent only extends to me.

When I predict things for other people, they almost always come true.

Like, I'll say to one of my author pals: you're going to get that contract. And lo, they do get that contract. Or I'll predict that some publisher will do this one thing, and lo, the publisher does the one thing. I'm actually quite good at guessing stuff for everything and everyone else.

Just not for myself. I have to reverse everything I'm expecting, just to keep myself sane and not freak out whenever I see a magpie. Because a single magpie intensifies the Opposite Psychic effect, you know?

No really, it totally does. Like this:

a) I expect to get an acceptance.

b) I see a single magpie.

c) I DO NOT GET THE ACCEPTANCE.

Though just to be clear: I am not in any way superstitious. I do not touch a glass egg that I've got every time I send a submission off, and I don't post things in a certain why to get optimum luck, and I never, ever say the magic words, right before I press the send button.

I swear I don't. Except all of the times where I totally do.