Two tiny words that can make the biggest, bravest man cringe, or puff his chest out with delight. The same can be said of women, but perhaps with slightly more cringing than puffing. LOL
How many of us, and this will vary with age, length of relationship and a number of other issues, would leap at the chance to strip bare, lay back and spread our legs, then show our partners/lovers just how we like to touch ourselves? Cripes, how many would dare ask?
We write about it, as Jenna said, it's a great way to bring a little sex into an erotic romance when you don't want your characters to leap into be quite yet. It's also fun to add a masturbation scene into a book for variety. I'm actually a huge fan of using masturbation to torture my characters. Yup, you go right ahead and touch yourself, but don't you dare come or I'll slap/tickle/flog or whatever. The variety of how we self-pleasure and the reasons we come up with are endless. Fetish comes to mind: the sexy sod who lusts after his wife's stilettos, the sexy mature woman who adores the feel of satin, or leather between her thighs, the middle aged banker who can't wait to kneel at his master or mistress' feet.
Oh, and while you're indulging with those fetish items, stroke that pussy, cock, bearded clam, rod for us.
What are these characters thinking of while they stroke? Fantasies they've created for themselves, lovers they've had, want to have or have now. Scenarios they want to try, don't dare try or are possibly illegal, but it's still all right to dream.
Knowing thyself. That means knowing the sexual part of yourself as well as all the other aspects of what makes you... well.. you!
Liking and loving that aspect of you is enormous and often more than people can do, unfortunately. How many of us have secret fantasies we couldn't dare share with our partners? Not even partners you've had for ten, twenty, thirty, or more years? Whether it's shame or embarrassment, there are too many of us still too many of us unwilling, or unable, to share the things that excite us.
But, if you can take that leap. If you can swallow whatever fear holds you back. If you can take a deep breath and blurt out how much you're enamored with your husband's thigh high waders or your wife's frilly lace apron, chances are you'll find they're more than accepting, they're eager to play along with you.
I guess the big secret here is to realize we're all very much alike. No matter what turns you on, there are a dozen, a thousand or more who are into the same thing.
Got a kink or fetish you'd like to share? I'd love to know all about it. Told your special someone and had a good/bad experience, I'd love to hear about those too.