Saturday, July 10, 2010

Regrets ...

Guest Post by Keta Diablo
I don’t think there’s a person breathing who doesn’t live with some regret over an incident, a decision or a day in their life.

Etymology of the word regret: Middle English from the word regretten, from Anglo-French regreter, from perhaps of Germanic origin; akin to Old Norse grāta or to weep. Dated from the 14th century, regret is a transitive verb that has several meanings: to mourn the loss or death, to miss very much or to be very sorry for one’s actions or mistakes.

Like everyone else, I’ve experienced all three meanings. I’ve had great loss of loved ones in my life, I miss people that for one reason or another have sought a different path, and I regret some of my own decisions or actions from the past.

Perhaps a better phrase would be I regret my lack of action from the past. Do you remember in your childhood someone asking you what you wanted to be when you grew up? Maybe they didn’t in your childhood, but I had some very curious aunts and uncles. Someone was always asking me where I’d like to see myself in 15 years or what career path I’d take, or worse, “If you could have one chance to be anything you wanted, what would you chose?”

At the time I had no idea. Who would at ten years of age? I probably said something like a famous rock singer. Those years have now turned into memories and I never became that famous rock star. I lacked conviction, determination and courage – all things that go hand-in-hand with legendary beings. Oh, yeah, I guess I should include talent in the list.

I could never have been a rock star – I don’t have a good voice, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing just once in my life I could have walked onto a stage to the roar of the crowd when I entered.

Or stop me from wishing . . .

I had learned to play the piano so rather than listen to Beethoven I could emulate his lovely sonatas,

I had purchased that ranch in Montana and lived among one of my favorite things in life—horses,

I had learned to speak French fluently, just because,

I had enough courage in my younger years to move to a warm climate because I detest cold weather,

I learned to water ski and surf because I know I’m missing out on a lot of fun,

I’d have gone to law school instead of squandering my college years away on a degree I do nothing with,

I could make this list of regrets much longer, but then I stop and think of all the things I’ve been blessed with—family, children, friends and my beloved animals that have journeyed with me through life.

I stop to remember when my list of regrets seems enormous that so far I have my health. I can walk out my door and smell the flowers, watch the barred owls in my woods feed their young, and listen to the loons on my lake call out at night.

Maybe I’ll take that French class this year or hire a tutor to teach me piano, but in the meantime I’m not going to concentrate on regrets – I’m going to be thankful for what I do have and then I’m going to go outside and dance in the rain.

~ ~ ~

Keta Diablo writes erotic romance and gay fiction for Phaze Publishing, Amber Quill Press, Noble Romance, and Decadent Publishing.

Her latest releases are Magnolia Heat from Noble Romance, Blood Oath from Amber Quill Press, and Crossroads: Shadowland from Phaze Publishing.

More about Magnolia Heat:
Gay Fiction, Noble Romance

North Carolina, 1876: Rumors abound about the dark, mysterious Dominic Beresford in Chapel Hill. Their curiosity piqued, their libidos functioning on overload, Craven and Anthony are intent on obtaining answers about the supposed licentious gatherings taking place every weekend.

When the duo are caught spying on Beresford Hall, their punishment will be swift and severe, and in Craven’s case, dispensed by none other than the stunning Lord of the Manor. What begins as penance soon veers off to a session of feverish passion where the avenger becomes the pawn in his own game. A male/male historical that will leave you breathless.

(Bondage. Forced seduction. Intense and graphic scenes of man love.)

* * *

More about Blood Oath:

When Kale MacDonald's beloved grandmother dies, she leaves him a letter urging him to travel to Savannah, GA to find his destiny. Kale is confronted by a strange, decadent man who appears to be stalking him. He's also confronted by a trio of rogue vampires intent on killing him. Mystery and danger collide in the City of Secrets, and no one is who they appear to be.

* * *

More about Crossroads: Shadowland:
Gay Fiction Series CROSSROADS, Phaze Publishing

Frank must travel to Louisiana to solve another missing persons' case. This time, Rand insists on accompanying Frank to get a hands-on introduction to the PI business. Evil forces are at work in the bayou. Frank is pitted against a centuries' old ghost and races against time to save two innocent young men from eternal damnation. Rand gets caught in vortex of prejudice when he encounters a sinister duo bent on violence against gays. Sinister machinations converge in a maelstrom of retribution and hate. Frank must pull out all the stops to save the young men and the man who holds his heart.

You can find out more about Keta and her writing here on the Net:

Keta’s Haunt,
Keta’s Keep Erotic Blog,
Keta’s Gay Fiction Blog,


  1. Hi, Keta,

    Thanks for joining us at the Grip!

    You know, a lot of those regrets are things you could do something about now, if you care enough to put in the effort. In fact, learning new skills is what keeps one young. My dad was taking courses in microbiology and Arabic when he was in his eighties!

    Your books sound delicious. I can't believe how prolific you are!

    Hope your upcoming blog tour brings you tons of sales.


  2. I've been practically paralized by regret in my life. A few decisions I made as a young woman were disastrous - I managed to utterly destroy a promising career as a writer, by the time I was 25. The only way out of regret, for me, is to get that I made the decision and much as I'd like to blame my now-ex-husband for the disappearance of my career, my independence, my youth - well, I didn't have to go along with his half-baked life plan now did I? It's been much easier to let go of that lost career now that I've managed to miraculously return to the writing life. And I don't regret the divorce.

  3. Regrets are a tough thing to admit to. I really believe the choices we make all lead us where we are going, one way or another, just different routes. But sometimes I think I've chosen the rocky road when the garden path would have worked just as well. Good luck on the blog tour, Keta, you have so many great books out there! And if you ever want to learn to surf, let me know. I'm a great boogie boarder, but I've always chickened out on the boards...but that can change!

  4. Thanks so much for dropping by! We all have regrets in our life. I'm a firm believer they're meant to be a part of the journey. Without regrets we'd never appreciate what we have. Think about it.

    Lisabet, you're right. It's never to late. I hope to take piano lessons this year, even if I'm horrible. I want to be able to say "hey, I know how to play a musical instrument,"

    It isn't so much about mastering anything as it is attempting to learn and opening up a brand new world.

    Fascinating subject, thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to ponder my regrets,

    Happy writing and reading to all,
    Best, Keta

  5. I too wish I'd gotten a different college degree. Instead of working as an accountant I work in IT!

    I also regret not being more assertive. I'm painfully shy and that has hurt in in many ways.

  6. Keta,

    Great post.

    I remember hearing a comedian say that, when he was young, adults used to constantly ask him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He figured that they were just looking for ideas :-)



  7. I used to have that same dream about a horse ranch in Montana. I wound with a little farm in VA, but I think the downsized version of that dream works better for me.

    You're a prolific author and that's something to savor.

  8. Keta,

    Thanks so much for joining us this week.

    I got sick and tired of the wondering and regretting not doing things a couple summers ago. I decided to be crazy. I took a cave ecology class, even though it mean dropping into a cave via a rope! I had a blast!!!

    I took a Marine ecology class, with a field conponent to Belize, even though it meant swimming in the ocean and I have a jelly fish phobia, and a massive fear of drowning. I saw one jelly fish the whole time, the it did freak me out about it. I also had problems dropping off of the back of the boat into the water. But I would definitly do it again.

    While in Belize I even went cave tubing!

    I also finally let myself be dragged out in a kayak last winter, even though again, I am afraid of drowning.

    I finally reached a point where I had enough regrets for inaction ... I wanted to have something where I could lay on my death bed, grin at the grandkids and reminisce.

    One thing this week has certainly brought to mind is it is never too late!


  9. I don't live with regrets. There are a few things I wish would have been different but I'm where I supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I was an extremely late bloomer but better late than never. It's an old cliche but it's true. You still have the rest of your life to do what you want to do. Regrets only stop you, paralyze you, so I do without them, learn from my mistakes, and move on and do better. Life has only gotten better for me since I hit 50.

  10. Isn't it true -- that we're supposed to embrace our fears and then we won't live with regrets. I've embraced most, but I still have a thing about swimming in the ocean. I mean the deep part of the ocean and this stems from the dang movie Jaws! I don't think I could skydive because of my phobia against flying. Those are two things I'd like to conquer one day.

    This has been a great topic and I lurved reading about everyone's regrets. It makes me feel less inadequate (lol).

    Thanks everyone for dropping in, and thanks for having me on Oh, Get A Grip (don't you just love that name?).

    Have a great week everyone, Blessings, Keta


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