Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Bulging Stockings

Since the theme is Holiday Sex, I thought I'd do something outrageous for this post. Something I've never done before. I'm going to actually talk about my own work throughout! Mainly because Holiday Sex ties in very nicely to two of my stories: Closer, and Waiting In Vain.

I guess I like writing about Christmas sex. Who knew? Not me. I've got no idea why I apparently like Christmas themed stories packed with nakedness and romping. Maybe it's something to do with the word romping, which goes very nicely with Christmas, I feel. As does frolicing- come on, you know what I'm talking about:

"She romped through the snow ladened hills, then froliced through tinsel bedecked living rooms."

Though thinking about it, that line has precious little to do with sex, and much more to do with fizzy twinkly stuff and frozen evol. So since it's Christmas and I'm in a very festive mood, I'll try again, just for you.

"She romped sexually through snow ladened hills, then froliced naked through lube-slicked tinsel."

Better? Possibly. Though I've just this second realised that putting together nonsense snow sprinkled lube slicked sentences tells me very little about why I like Christmas and sex together. The two words don't even go together, really. I mean, the first one starts off with possibly the least sexual word of all time: Jesus' surname. And it doesn't get any better from there. Mas? No. No. Not sexy.

Though I suppose if we shorten Christmas to its heathen brother, Xmas, it gets far easier. Sexmas is practically in the dictionary, for God's sake! Everyone knows Sexmas, even if it's just from the front of some cheeky novelty card that features Santas doing horrendous animal rights violating things to his reindeers.

And that's why I like Christmas paired with sex. Because Santa buggers Rudolph!

Wait. What?

I don't know. I really don't. I think it's just the cold outside, and the warmth inside. But then in Waiting In Vain, my hero and heroine do it in a shed. So I'm not sure how that matches up. Maybe it's the presents? The sexy gifts? I don't think a single gift is exchanged in Closer, though I'm pretty sure my heroine loves what she gets for Christmas.

Who wouldn't want Alexander Skarsgard in their stocking? Not that he'd actually fit, mind. I doubt he'd get his cock in my stocking, though Lord knows I'd do anything to squeeze it in. And after all, isn't that what Christmas is about? Cocks in stockings? I hope so, because otherwise I've just waffled on for half an hour with no point at all, because I had too much Christmas sherry while snogging my hubby on the sofa and quite forgot whatever it was I was going to say in the first place.


  1. Well, that made me laugh on a grey day!

    Round here there's a lot of snow, ice and travel disruption. There was recently a news story about a remote countryside pub that got cut off by snowdrifts for six days... am just imaging the possibilities of that for an erotic story...

  2. Charlotte,

    Hum ... maybe the reindeer is actually a really ripped, sexy shifter. And Santa only grows old for the day, then afterwards, like Father time, is reborn ... as another hot, sexy stud.

    And they frolick in the snow, the sensations of warm skin and ice cold a contrast that really gets them into the Christmas mood. Until they start to really freeze, and then they move into the barn, and lay down among the hay, all sweaty from their exertions. While outside, snow falls and the ice crackles to the rhythm of nature.


  3. Michelle - that scenario would work since the winter solstice is the death of the god-year, so the next morning, he would wake up renewed as a youthful Alexander Skarsgaard (Sweden is close enough to the North Pole for fantasy purposes.) and Charlotte could play reindeer games with him.

  4. Hi, Charlotte,

    Sometimes I wish I were a Brit. Then I could snog too...

    I sometimes get a bit of a headache following your logic, Charlotte, but I know it will all work out in the end...

    Merry XXXmas!


  5. Fulani- oh, you're getting to the heart of it better than I could! Mmmm...cut off by a snow drift sex...

    Michelle- yes! Yes! You guys are totally rocking my clock!

    Kathleen- how did you know that those are my very favourite games to play?

    Lisabet- you should know by now. I *have* no logic!

    Merry Christmas, everyone!

  6. Heh, Skarsgard in my stocking. You're right, he wouldn't fit, not even in my large stockings. But you know where he would fit? In my bed! I'm making space as we speak ;)

    Waiting in Vain is an awesome read, so anyone reading this should buy it. Not read Closer yet but I'm sure it's equally awesome.

    Merry Christmas and all that jazz everyone. x


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