I don't really find the idea of infidelity sexy, in all honesty. To me, monogamy is far sexier. In fact, I think I might well have a kink for ultra monogamy. You know. The type of monogamy where you love someone forever across oceans of time and you dwell in darkness without them and they are the apple of your eye, the grain in your coffee, the walnut on the top of your whip.
And if you've got coffee in your apples and eyes in your whips, what on earth would you need another person for? It's the very idea of not needing another person that makes it so sexy, so irresistable, so unobtainable. Almost as though our default position is in fact infidelity, and we have to take great leaps and bounds of endless non-existent love in order to vanquish the I word forever.
Or something. I dunno. All I know is that when I'm writing, I don't get the same pulse pounding thrill from seeing lovers cheat, as I do from seeing them come together, be together, make it work, make it kinky...those are the things that do it for me. Infidelity just seems to sap all that for me, like sucking all the cream out of the bottom of a Walnut Whip and then eating the walnut last.
Ugh. No. Unbearable.
That being said...I do like the idea of planned infidelity. Which sounds really boring when I put it like that, as though I'm going to hand you condoms with a bored look on my face and tell you that you'll get genital warts if you're not careful. Which is kind of true, when we're talking about having sex with multiple cheating partners. You could indeed get genital warts. But ah, the beauty of planned infidelity is that, you know, you can...like...screen potential candidates.
The oceans across time couple from your glorious tale of boundless filthy love could...I dunno...ask for references from the person they want to cheat with. Scrub he or she down with a wire brush. Check them for ticks, that sort of thing.
None of which is any sexier than for really realz infidelity, so I don't know why I'm talking about it. Probably because I'm not sure what is sexy, for me, about a couple deciding to pick someone one or both of them wants to "cheat" with, as in Cara McKenna's Ruin Me or Cara McKenna's Dirty Thirty (which is really more of a threesome. I think. I don't know. Read it and find out!). Or in my own story that I no longer want to write because it bears too much of a resemblance to Dirty Thirty, and which is currently called Bicsexual because I typed it wrong when I made the Word Doc.
I know. I'm hopeless. I don't even know why I'm trying to make sense of such a thrilling, thorny, interesting beast as infidelity, when I can't even work Microsoft Word.
ETA: I totally forgot! If you're interested, my latest release from Ellora's Cave is actually out this very day, and it's about a kinky girl who likes to do some very horny things in very public places. You can get it here, for only $1.49! http://www.jasminejade.com/p-8823-closer.aspx